So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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