I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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