i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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