Whoa Z and x make the same sound
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
