which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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