we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
