Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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