I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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