this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
