No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
