The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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