you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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