I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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