I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
