I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.