Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.

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  (215): Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions. http://tfl.nu/2ubl
  Replies (9) Good night (758) Bad night (2691)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you

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  (321): You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you http://tfl.nu/ey1b
  Replies (71) Good night (3873) Bad night (760)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice

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  (469): There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice http://tfl.nu/r0ns
  Replies (30) Good night (2279) Bad night (1054)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"

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  (704): you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!" http://tfl.nu/9nr0
  Replies (19) Good night (6490) Bad night (884)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game

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  (240): We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game http://tfl.nu/lfk3
  Replies (8) Good night (845) Bad night (6466)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.

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  (503): Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress. http://tfl.nu/96cb
  Replies (24) Good night (4844) Bad night (1479)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.

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  (910): I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/hxzm
  Replies (3) Good night (1793) Bad night (766)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?

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  (519): On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend? http://tfl.nu/abvl
  Replies (28) Good night (8347) Bad night (1253)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.

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  (519): You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month. http://tfl.nu/3065
  Replies (9) Good night (2136) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.

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  (617): Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council. http://tfl.nu/w0zb
  Replies (7) Good night (2961) Bad night (802)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  This baby is an asshole

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  (517): This baby is an asshole http://tfl.nu/mlzh
  Replies (11) Good night (1982) Bad night (877)
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  (916): View more from California

  Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?

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  (916): Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night? http://tfl.nu/oh7z
  Replies (5) Good night (1896) Bad night (730)
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  (585): View more from New York

  AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?

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  (585): AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!? http://tfl.nu/66pr
  Replies (1) Good night (533) Bad night (267)
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  (925): View more from California

  My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.

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  (925): My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar. http://tfl.nu/6s7o
  Replies (0) Good night (432) Bad night (261)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.

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  (505): 30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong. http://tfl.nu/knaq
  Replies (5) Good night (582) Bad night (370)

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