Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.

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  (206): Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once. http://tfl.nu/nlk3
  Replies (6) Good night (1534) Bad night (856)
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  (631): View more from New York

  there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.

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  (631): there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be. http://tfl.nu/ag4a
  Replies (12) Good night (4283) Bad night (1684)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game

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  (937): she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game http://tfl.nu/2cbt
  Replies (20) Good night (713) Bad night (8340)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He felt like a one man threesome

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  (303): He felt like a one man threesome http://tfl.nu/1ehs
  Replies (17) Good night (9073) Bad night (921)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit

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  (301): and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit http://tfl.nu/fjd7
  Replies (8) Good night (4429) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore

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  (516): He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore http://tfl.nu/31xs
  Replies (7) Good night (972) Bad night (3415)
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  (714): View more from California

  All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.

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  (714): All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it. http://tfl.nu/eanx
  Replies (24) Good night (1085) Bad night (11820)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?

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  (803): Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass? http://tfl.nu/vxrr
  Replies (16) Good night (999) Bad night (2202)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week

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  (551): I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week http://tfl.nu/k48u
  Replies (6) Good night (2254) Bad night (897)
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  (510): View more from California

  He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?

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  (510): He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast? http://tfl.nu/9c24
  Replies (34) Good night (3669) Bad night (989)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.

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  (443): If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating. http://tfl.nu/mpso
  Replies (8) Good night (695) Bad night (2015)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?

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  (207): Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this? http://tfl.nu/g5cp
  Replies (9) Good night (3043) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns

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  (509): Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns http://tfl.nu/s30q
  Replies (11) Good night (1786) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.

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  (785): The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked. http://tfl.nu/4i2t
  Replies (6) Good night (1678) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.

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  (512): While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before. http://tfl.nu/erll
  Replies (7) Good night (1880) Bad night (502)

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