Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit