Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.

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(360): View more from Washington

She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape

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(416): View more from Ontario

I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.

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Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(469): View more from Texas

I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!

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(708): View more from Illinois

I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza

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(252): View more from North Carolina

it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet

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(760): View more from California

I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart

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(757): View more from Virginia

I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.

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