he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
