Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
What a dumb baby whore.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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