Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
