you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize