ugly people sure do ruin things
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
