bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
