i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
