perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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