4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
