I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
