My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
