none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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