Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
