Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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