??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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