Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize