i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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