The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
