We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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