I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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