My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
