She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
True college students do jello shots in the library
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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