Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
