im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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