My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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