that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
