just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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