I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
