are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
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