I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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