Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
