so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
