I can tuck mytits in my pants
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
