Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
