I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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