Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
