Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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