Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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