she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
