He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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