playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize