all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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