I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize